Monday, June 3, 2013

The Impostor Syndrome

I was reading an interview with Emma Watson and she was talking about how she had the impostor syndrome. Where no matter how much success she has and how much people look up to her she still feels like she is an impostor, that at any moment someone will find her out and realize she isn't that good at what she does. Which for the record, I think she is a great actress. In her auto-biography Sheryl Sandberg (Lean In) talked about this too, that she felt she was a fraud and when I heard Sheryl talk about this and when I read Emma Watson's interview, it hit a chord for me.

At Least, I always feel this way. Which is odd and may surprise some people that I feel this way, since in general I can be a pretty confident and sometimes cocky person. I mean I AM an only child, it comes with the territory. However, deep down I always feel like I am not good at what I do and I have always been this way.

Even, when I got the part in a play or when I got invited to train is Florida for soccer. I would get excited about these things, but the second I had to get in a group with other talented people. My brain, would instantly say... "You're not good enough, to be here and they know it" and even when people would tell me differently, I would still believe that. I think this also had to do with the fact that once people I knew were watching me, or peers with the same interests were watching me... I would choke. I'd get so nervous, that I would pretty much suck at whatever I was doing.

Then I began this blog, and the feelings came back. I started thinking to myself... "they know, they can tell I am not as funny, or book smart as them. I don't read intense literature, I can barely remember anything I had learned in my english classes! They will know that I am not good enough to be a book blogger." This feeling has gone away a little, but it still creeps up on me.

Do You Ever Feel Like You Are An Impostor? Is there something that you are good at, and that others compliment you on, but no matter what you still feel like you are just faking it through?

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